I should be killed for finding this mildly amusing:

The body of a missing schoolgirl may have been turned into burgers and kebabs and served up at a seaside fast food outlet.

Police fear the remains of 14-year old Charlene Downes, who was reported missing in November 2003, may also have been ground up into tile grout.

Iyad Albattikhi, 28, who ran the Funny Boyz takeaway in Blackpool, Lancashire is charged with her murder.

Damn, I think I missed this limited hamburger and kebab.

He ran something called the Funny Boyz Takeaway? That is funny. Does it get more obvious than that? If that name doesn’t screams kidnapper, I don’t know what does. The British and their dry humor…