I saw Xmen: The Last Stand not long ago and the only things I remeber are Famke’s legs and feeling guilty for getting a boner watching Kitty Pryde in her skintight Xmen outfit. Ellen Page looks like a frickin’ 14-year-old! How was I supposed to know that she was one of those legal lolis? Go ahead, you can fap with a clean conscience now.

Anyhow, I later heard about the movie Hard Candy, also starring Ellen Page. The premise of the movie sounded interesting enough to catch my attention. Somthing about a girl trying to find evidence showing that a guy is a pedophile. Awesome! I thought it would be like Veronica Mars or something and I couldn’t wait to see what girl scout tricks she was going to use so I would know how to avoid them!

I guess you could say that I got more than I bargained for. Ellen Page’s character is no Veronica Mars, Ellen Page’s character is a combination of Annie Wilkes, Hannibal Lector and Mr Blonde. I consider myself indifferent when it comes to violence on the big screen. I can watch a guy get his head crushed in a vise without twitching, but Hard Candy was hard to watch.

Overall I’d say it’s a great movie, much thanks to the performance by the actors. One could argue that the movie might fail to convey the message that it’s wrong to pick up little girls over the Internet. At the end of the movie, you couldn’t help but to feel sorry for the pedophile — a little. Then again, one should just shut the fuck up and enjoy a good movie.