I’m converting to Calvinism because God has obviously predestined me for salvation.

Some of you might know that today is the launch day of Wii in Europe and of course I had to get one. Living in little Sweden, I didn’t think the demand would be that great and I figured most people would either be at work or school anyway so I thought it would be safe to go to the shopping center an hour before they opened.

When I arrived there were already roughly 40 people outside the store. I’m bad at estimating sizes of crowds, so there might have been less. The only way for me to count somewhat accurately is to mow them down with a lawnmower and then look at the kill count.

It might not sound like a lot, but I knew the store would only get 22 copies of Wii. I knew because work there during the summers. The strange thing was that store with a line was my Plan B store. My Plan A store was the other electronic store next door, which unbeknownst to many is owned by the same corporate. I knew they would get 11 copies and they open an hour before the other. What’s weird was that the queue outside this store consisted of a total of zero people even though it would open its doors one hour before the store with a gathering outside. Was my information wrong? Had the shipments to this store been withdrawn? Clueless I waited outside the queueless store.

Thirty minutes later the store manager came out. He went to the other line and told the people they would have 22 copies of Wii where in the store they were waiting at and 11 at the one I was at. Ten lucky persons ran over to my side and at 10am I walked out with a Wii, Zelda and an extra Wiimote while the persons outside the bigger store still had to wait one more hour.

When I got out of the store a guy from some school paper told me that some suckers on the other side had been waiting outside for two days. I waited an hour and got the console an hour before them. While they were waiting these two days I probably downloaded porn.

There is no doubt about it, I’ve found favor with the Lord.

P.S. where is the ethernet port, Nintendo? You cheap bastards have to think on other cheap bastards who haven’t bought a new router since the dawn of time free porn.