…enlarger.

I saw stalker girl again some days ago. Eager to show her what I had, I reached down my pants to grab what has to be God’s finest creation so far; an iPhone. She said that it wasn’t the biggest phone she had seen but by far the nicest.

Paying for yesterday’s technology at tomorrow’s prices is something I can live with when you have sturdy and flashy GUIs and elegant designs. If nothing else, Apple products are great chick magnets.

To be honest, having Steve Jobs’ manhod rammed up your ass isn’t as bad as it might sound. It’s actually quite a nice feeling. Watching the Leopard countdown on Apple’s website is almost better than porn.

Moscow: 10-yr-old commits suicide after parental ban on computer games

A 10-year-old school boy committed suicide by jumping from his 19th floor apartment here after his parents banned him from playing computer games.

Andrei Smirnov, a class three student, jumped to his death yesterday after receiving the wrath of his parents due to bad conduct in school and a poor performance in studies.

The boy’s class teacher had written remarks about his bad conduct in the school diary which he had tried to erase to escape the wrath of his parents, according to Komsomolskaya Pravda tabloid.

Angered by the teacher’s remarks and their son’s attempt to deceive them, Andrei’s parents banned him from playing games on his computer.

Local experts here have expressed concern over the unhealthy dependence of children on computers.

According to Director of Centre for Legal Psychological Assistance Mikhail Vinogradov, children who are banned from using their computers could easily resort to suicide, since they do not realise the consequences of taking the extreme step.

What a drama queen.

‘Death Note’ comic cited in notes found with severed body in Belgium

BRUSSELS, Oct. 3 (AP) - (Kyodo)—Notes referring to the name of a serial killer in the popular Japanese comic “Death Note” were found near human body parts in southern Brussels last week, according to a recent local newspaper report.

Two notes reading “Watashi wa Kira desu,” a Japanese phrase meaning “I am Kira,” were left at the scene, according to an article published Monday by Belgium’s La Derniere Heure.

In the comic, the main character tries to rid the world of evil by typing the names of criminals on a Death Note, which has the power to kill them. The unidentified serial killer is known as Kira.

According to the article, a man walking in a Brussels park last Friday afternoon found thighs and a lower abdomen. The body parts are believed to belong to a Caucasian man who has yet to be identified.

The newspaper reported that local police have launched a murder investigation and that they consider it unlikely that the notes were left there coincidentally.

Translated versions of “Death Note” are available in Belgium, where the comic is popular among young people.

Taking viral marketing up a notch.