Beckii Cruel

Stage Name: Beckii Cruel
Age: 14
Profession: YouTube Dancer
Trap Status: Pending
Chris Hansen Factor: 100%

Meet Beckii, a British fourteen-year-old girl who, like all girls her age (trust me, I have stalked enough to know), likes to perform silly dances in her bedroom. Unlike most girls, Beckii also records and uploads her performances to YouTube. Not surprisingly, half of the male population of Japan is now fapping furiously to her videos. She even has an upcoming DVD, which, I guess, by definition makes her a Junior idol.

Junior idols are by no means a new phenomenon. Apparently, Japanese parents have no issues whatsoever with letting their underage daughters wear swimsuits while posing seductively and licking ice cream cones in front of middle-aged cameramen. In a way, they are no different from western parents who force their children to participate in beauty pageants – except for the fact that contestants of beauty pageants won’t see their faces on DVDs on the same shelves as softcore porn.

Just to be clear, while words such as アイドル [aidoru] and タレント [tarento] might resemble and be derived from the English words ‘idol’ and ‘talent’, the words have – like all things the Japanese touch – long since lost their meaning. Anyone, beautiful or not, can become an アイドル [aidoru] or タレント [tarento] as long as they are willing to whore themselves out on television and other media. The closest translation to アイドル [aidoru] and タレント [tarento] that I can think of would be ‘talentless hack’ or ‘Seth MacFarlane’.

You might be thinking: so what if these talentless hacks are poor excuses for human beings? At the end of the day, they are laughing all the way to the bank. Good for them, you say. True enough, true enough. Then again, the same could be said about prostitutes and Zach Braff.

I must admit that Beckii, a Junior idol of the more innocent variety, is painfully adorable. All the same, the fact that grown men are ogling her YouTube channel is still creepy as fuck.

Needless to say, I’ve already grabbed all Beckii’s videos from YouTube and preordered her DVD.

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Author:
abq
Published:
10.29.09 / 4pm
Category:
Japan
Tags:
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