Why the Universal Century is Better Than Any Other Gundam Timeline

In anticipation of the upcoming Gundam Unicorn OVA and to celebrate the 30th anniviersary of Gundam, I thought now would be a good time to explain why the Universal Century timeline is so much better than any other Gundam timeline.

Back in the seventies and the eighties, when men still had balls, director Yoshiyuki Tomino single-handedly laid down the foundation of what could have become the ballsiest series in the history of mankind – Mobile Suit Gundam. Unfortunately, somewhere along the line, something went horribly wrong. My guess is that Sunrise mistook Tomino’s huge balls for batshit insanity and for that reason allowed other directors to smear their feces all over the franchise. Today, Gundam is nothing more than a metrosexual emo-hippie-shit-fest devoid of anything even remotely resembling balls.

You might remember Tomino as the sub-par director/writer whose gimmick was to kill off any and every of his characters. You are absolutely right. Death was, however, not the only theme Tomino explored in the earlier Gundam shows. Tomino also had the balls to deal with issues such as indecent exposure, the attraction to young girls and surprise sex.

Indecent Exposure
In the earlier days, Gundam used to shove breasts in your face all the time. Not strategically covered breasts, but the real fucking deal. Glorious breasts with nipples. Tiny nipples, but nipples nonetheless. Also, uncensored genitals. Those were the days.

Attraction to Young Girls
Char Aznable, the most badass guy in the history of anime, was a lolicon. Judau Ashta and Glemy Toto also associated themselves with girls of inappropriate ages.

Surprise Sex
For a show about people fighting each other in giant robots, Gundam used to have an astonishingly high number of on-screen rape scenes. They might be subtle, but they are there. Already back in the original series, Amuro Ray ravished Kikka, one of the orphan children aboard the White Base. This explains the awkward silence when Frau Bow brought the kids to Amuro’s mansion in Zeta Gundam. I can imagine it is not the easiest thing to forget or forgive the man who jizzed all over you as a child, war hero or not.

Speaking of the orphan children, I’ve come to the conclusion that the orphans are all kinds of messed up. Katz molested Kikka, Letz had the hots for Frau Bow, Shinta violated Qum. The portrayal of the orphan children is clearly intended to serve as social commentary on the fragile state of children during wartime.

In ZZ Gundam, Judau Ashta tied up and had his way with Elpeo Puru (whose name is a pun on Lemon People). It doesn’t really count as rape, though, because the bitch was begging for it.