My Wii is really excited now and I would love to plug it into that. It looks like fun, but unless I try I won’t know. Playing is believing — and I really want to believe.

• Get your own Nintendo panties here.

I can’t believe it’s been almost four years since began playing the first Xenosaga game. After disappointing sales, the series ended prematurely with Episode III. All I feel is emptiness.

The story isn’t that bad if you take it for what it is — a pretentious space soap opera. I admit that some characters’ motives felt weak at times, but I still enjoyed it. I guess I had grown so accustomed to the characters that I simply didn’t care that the story felt like the brainchild of a namedropping high school student. After all, those ridiculous things were what I liked about Xenogears before I realised that using Christian symbols doesn’t necessarily make a story profound or interesting. Yes, believe it or not, I went to high school once upon a time too.

A post about Xenosaga can’t be complete unless I pimp MOMO, right? I can’t wait until scientists invent stuff like magic, a 6th season of Futurama and 100-Series Observational Units. Is it still ephebophilia when it’s about an artificial human?

This is by far the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. I’m sure it can even make the most pathetic emofags and goth kids smile. If they don’t, they must have somehow damaged their happiness center.

I could be wrong, but from what I have understood the girl goes by the name Melody-chan. Want to know what she sings about? Ask Tsutomu Kouno. He wrote the gibberish lyrics. I read or saw an interview where he said that isn’t a complete language with grammatical rules, but certain words convey certain concepts or emotions. At least in his head because he won’t teach anyone the LocoRoco language.

While the game certainly is as cute as this clip, it’s sadly not good if you look at it as a game. It’s a shallow collectathon that requires memorization and some damn good luck if you want to find everything. As an experience, however, it’s happiness on a UMD.

If you want to sing along, here is the lyrics for the part in the clip:

Bajumbo moi noi noi jecker
Dabatto bunkergait jun jun
Nora juerue-rotto pura-pura petto
Puraret dum dum
Papuranoi noi noi jecker
Dabatto bumperget tum tum
Ora poerketino bookeran tan-tan-so

…but most of the time she is the one anally violating.

Since some people here seem to be obsessed with Utada Hikaru and Tetris, especially in combination, here is the latest part in the saga that takes place in the superficial, make-believe kingdom of Japan.

If you have read my blog for a while, you must have heard about the Nintendo-sponsored Tetris-bukkake event where Utada Hikaru anally violated 26 out of 30 challengers. Well, Nintendo put up a video from the event just now. I bet this is better than porn for all you meganekko-loving deviants.

So without further ado, let the ass rape beginulate.