Trial for father in killing of tot who broke video game

This was Tyrone Spellman’s explanation to police: He “snapped” after he thought his daughter had broken a $600 Xbox game console.

Alayiah Turman was only 17 months old, born March 29, 2005. Spellman beat her to death, prosecutors say.

In an alleged confession read at his preliminary hearing yesterday, Spellman, 25, said he was playing one of Tom Clancy’s “Ghost Recon” games - a violent combat epic - in a front bedroom of his family’s Brewerytown home that Thursday morning, Sept. 7. He had taken Alayiah into the room so her mother, Mia Turman, could rest.

“She pulled the cord and the whole game console fell over,” Spellman said in his statement, read by Homicide Detective John Cummings. “I thought it was broken. I popped her in the face. I picked her up and tossed her in a chair.”

[…]

Alayiah’s skull was fractured to the point that a piece of bone had fallen out, he said.

What is wrong with people? You don’t pop babies in the face! You don’t even pop their cherries… yet. That and good old fashioned domestic violence come later.

German gov’t considers jail time for gamers

Now. legislation currently being drafted would take these standards a step further. The bill, which was introduced last week by the states of Bavaria and Lower Saxony, proposes a new offence. Those found guilty of “cruel violence on humans or human-looking characters” could face fines, or jail time of up to 12 months–and those it applies to include developers, retailers, and consumers, reports UK newspaper The Guardian.

If women are afraid of being raped they should play Counter-Strike instead of taking lame self-defense courses.

I’m converting to Calvinism because God has obviously predestined me for salvation.

Some of you might know that today is the launch day of Wii in Europe and of course I had to get one. Living in little Sweden, I didn’t think the demand would be that great and I figured most people would either be at work or school anyway so I thought it would be safe to go to the shopping center an hour before they opened.

When I arrived there were already roughly 40 people outside the store. I’m bad at estimating sizes of crowds, so there might have been less. The only way for me to count somewhat accurately is to mow them down with a lawnmower and then look at the kill count.

It might not sound like a lot, but I knew the store would only get 22 copies of Wii. I knew because work there during the summers. The strange thing was that store with a line was my Plan B store. My Plan A store was the other electronic store next door, which unbeknownst to many is owned by the same corporate. I knew they would get 11 copies and they open an hour before the other. What’s weird was that the queue outside this store consisted of a total of zero people even though it would open its doors one hour before the store with a gathering outside. Was my information wrong? Had the shipments to this store been withdrawn? Clueless I waited outside the queueless store.

Thirty minutes later the store manager came out. He went to the other line and told the people they would have 22 copies of Wii where in the store they were waiting at and 11 at the one I was at. Ten lucky persons ran over to my side and at 10am I walked out with a Wii, Zelda and an extra Wiimote while the persons outside the bigger store still had to wait one more hour.

When I got out of the store a guy from some school paper told me that some suckers on the other side had been waiting outside for two days. I waited an hour and got the console an hour before them. While they were waiting these two days I probably downloaded porn.

There is no doubt about it, I’ve found favor with the Lord.

P.S. where is the ethernet port, Nintendo? You cheap bastards have to think on other cheap bastards who haven’t bought a new router since the dawn of time free porn.

[insert small penis joke]

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Penalty for unwrapping gifts early: Arrest

A mother convinced Rock Hill police to arrest her 12-year-old son after he unwrapped a Christmas present early.

The boy’s great-grandmother had specifically told him not to open his Nintendo Game Boy Advance, which she had wrapped and placed beneath the Christmas tree, according to a police report.

But on Sunday morning, she found the box of the popular handheld game console unwrapped and opened. When the boy’s 27-year-old mother heard about the opened gift, she called police.

[…]

Both the great-grandmother and the mother asked the boy on Sunday where the present was. The boy replied he didn’t know.

When the mother threatened to call the police, the boy went into his room and got the Game Boy, the report stated. She called the police anyway.

[…]

She had the child when she was 15, the woman said, and has been a single mother struggling to earn a business degree.

[…]

The boy “showed no remorse” when the police came, the mother said.

Let this be a lesson to all of you. Always use protection when with a 15-year-old.