Ban on samurai swords becomes law

Legislation against selling, making, hiring or importing samurai swords in England and Wales has come into force.

Those breaking the law face six months in jail and a £5,000 fine. Carrying a sword in public is already illegal.

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Last month a gang of youths, one armed with a samurai sword, attacked a 15-year-old boy in Newry, County Down.

If they ban samurai swords, then only criminals will have them. Luckily, I know some sweet ninja turtles moves. Chavs with samurai swords are in for a big surprise if they ever were to attack me.

FBI posts fake hyperlinks to snare child porn suspects

The FBI has recently adopted a novel investigative technique: posting hyperlinks that purport to be illegal videos of minors having sex, and then raiding the homes of anyone willing to click on them.

Undercover FBI agents used this hyperlink-enticement technique, which directed Internet users to a clandestine government server, to stage armed raids of homes in Pennsylvania, New York, and Nevada last year. The supposed video files actually were gibberish and contained no illegal images.

Rickraiding is the next big thing. Imagine the lulz when 4chan gets a hold of those links.

Don’t tell me you want me to believe that Carolina Kostner’s perfectly proportioned body is a creation of accident. That is just silly and naive.

Figure skating is probably the only sport I can watch without falling asleep or worrying about having more sophisticated people questioning my sexuality. How ironic that if I were to tell someone that I enjoy figure skating, then they’d give me the queer eye. Why in the world would I enjoy watching young, attractive women in skimpy outfits showing off their asses? Silly philistines.

There is one bad thing about figure skating, though; Nessun dorma. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a brilliant piece. But everytime I hear it, all I see in front of me is Paul Potts. I bet you can see the problem. Here I am, casually fapping away, and then *BAM* Paul Potts. Talk about instant boner killer.

Anyway, look at those legs! They never end! Asada wankers can go away.

Cartoon cat joins Japan’s government

Foreign Minister Masahiko Komura appointed the popular cartoon robot cat as “anime ambassador,” handing a human-sized Doraemon doll an official certificate at an inauguration ceremony, along with dozens of “dorayaki” red bean pancakes — his favorite dessert — piled on a huge plate.

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“Doraemon, I hope you will travel around the world as an anime ambassador to deepen people’s understanding of Japan so they will become friends with Japan,” Komura told the blue-and-white cat.

Doraemon doesn’t have any ears! It makes no sense. Worst ambassador ever.

1. They lack all sense of logic.
2. Their aim is to be glorified cum dumpsters.
3. They can spell cause but not because.

Shopping and getting your nails done sound like a really fulfilling and meaningful life. If I was a girl, I definitely could see myself living that life. Waking up, getting my nails done, go shopping for eight hours and then coming home so my husband can degrade me in every way possible. Why else would a guy stay with such a stuck up little bitch?

In my humble opinion, all women should work and they should do it for less pay for equal work. That way, there is no confusion about their true place in society.