Lolita love affair scandalises Italy

A 34-year-old Italian man who had sex with a 13-year-old girl has had his sentence cut by a two-thirds because a court decided there was “real love” between the pair.

[…]

His lawyers argued, however, that there was a “deep tenderness” between him and the girl and that he had “fallen head over heels in love” after a sexual encounter in his car. They said the girl had consented to every action.

The court in Vicenza accepted their opinion and sentenced de Pascale to only one year and four months in jail out of a possible 12-year term.

Because of a general amnesty for anyone who receives a sentence of less than three years, de Pascale is unlikely to serve any prison time for his Lolita-esque romance.

Only Phoenix Wright could pull off something like this.

Cute movie.

Ellen Page kind of reprises her role as the cute, creepy, pedo hunter girl from Hard Candy, only without the creepy, pedo hunter part. Juno kinda gives off a Napoleon Dynamite vibe. However, unlike Napoleon Dynamaite, Juno has a coherent story and is actually funny.

The smarmy, snappy, over the top dialogue didn’t really bother me. Even though two out three seasons of Veronica Mars are less than spectacular, I still like Veronica Mars and Juno is a lot like Veronica Mars when it comes to witty and sharp dialogue.

I didn’t even mind the name dropping for indie cred. That’s somewhat believable, perhaps even expected from rebellious indie-grunge kids. At least it’s not as cringe-worthy as Garden State.

Do yourself a favor, take a break from masturbating and watch Juno.

Lewisville magician accused of kidnapping child at Creekside Elementary

A 22-year-old Lewisville man who reportedly works as a professional magician was behind bars Thursday, accused of taking a 9-year-old girl from the Creekside Elementary School campus.

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The girl was not being named, but KTVT-TV’s CBS 11 reported that the girl was asked to be a magician’s assistant before she was taken off the property. Her parents told the TV station that she was blindfolded and subjected to videotaping and sexually explicit behavior. They also said school administrators did not know that a stranger had taken her off the property.

Officials at Creekside Elementary deferred comment to the Lewisville Independent School District. LISD spokeswoman Karen Permetti said Mr. Reyes took four children out of class to be assistants, but only three returned.

[…]

Magician might be a good career choice for me. I might not know how to pull rabbits out of hats but I’m fairly sure I can pull snakes out of my pants. I could even have an assistant tease it until it releases its deadly venom.

It takes about nine months until the venom ruins your life. Various antidotes are readily available and should be administered as soon as possible.

Cops: Man sodomized stepson in revenge

FORT WORTH, Texas - A father sodomized his 18-year-old stepson to avenge the teenager’s alleged rape of the man’s 8-year-old daughter, police said.

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Instead of taking the teenager home, the Arlington man drove to an abandoned house in Fort Worth, beat his stepson with a baseball bat and sodomized him with a metal tool, police said.

Damn, what an ass.

Why 10 is too young for your first Brazilian

Last year Nair, makers of hair-removal products, released their Pretty range, aimed at 10 to 15-year-olds, or, as they call them, “first-time hair removers”. Yes, you heard right. Ten-year-olds. Girls — children — in grades 5 and 6, encouraged to wax and chemically remove hair from their barely pubescent bodies. As online site Gawker put it, what’s next: Baby Brazilians?

Well, it seems that someone heard that throwaway phrase and spied a business opportunity, because Australian website girl.com.au is now promoting a feature about Brazilian waxes, otherwise known as a torture device in which all the hair in a woman’s nether regions is ripped off with a combination of hot wax and a high pain threshold. The website, which appears to be mostly read by girls in the nine to 14 age bracket, says of the Brazilian: “Nobody really likes hair in their private regions and it has a childlike appeal.”

Approved.

This is the article they are talking about. After having read the article, I must say that I’m tempted to open a Brazilian wax salon for girls.