Tomohiro Katō Apologizes in Court for Akiba Killings

Katō faces the death penalty for the worst mass murder case in Japan in seven years. The man reportedly struck five individuals with a truck at an intersection near the main Japan Railways station of Akihabara at around 12:35 p.m. on June 8, 2008. He then allegedly proceeded to leave the vehicle and stab 12 people on the streets. Police apprehended the suspect on a side street shortly after the incident.

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Kato was born in Aomori Prefecture in northern Japan, but lived in Shizuoka Prefecture’s Susono City in central Japan before the incident. He sent an apology letter to one of the victims, 56-year-old taxi driver Hiroshi Yuasa, in November. Katō wrote, “However much I repent, however much I apologize will never be enough to make things right, and since my crime deserves death 10,000 times I think I will be sentenced to death.” He added that the victims’ pain “must be something like the uncontrollable anger I felt when my online self was killed on the forum I spent all my time on by trolls.”

Did he pull a Hoekstra on his victims?

The ban (RC) on small breasted women in adult publications has been made by the Australian Classification Board allegedly on the grounds that such images could be construed as child pornography, even where those publications comply with American law and keep certification that performers are over 18.

How do I get a seat on the board that decides on these matters? In any case, Australia will always have rub-the-most-oil-on-14-year-old-twins-in-bikinis-contests, so life Down Under can’t be that bad.

Back in the seventies and the eighties, when men still had balls, director Yoshiyuki Tomino single-handedly laid down the foundation of what could have become the ballsiest series in the history of mankind – Mobile Suit Gundam. Unfortunately, somewhere along the line, something went horribly wrong. My guess is that Sunrise mistook Tomino’s huge balls for batshit insanity and for that reason allowed other directors to smear their feces all over the franchise. Today, Gundam is nothing more than a metrosexual emo-hippie-shit-fest devoid of anything even remotely resembling balls.

You might remember Tomino as the sub-par director/writer whose gimmick was to kill off any and every of his characters. You are absolutely right. Death was, however, not the only theme Tomino explored in the earlier Gundam shows. Tomino also had the balls to deal with issues such as indecent exposure, the attraction to young girls and surprise sex.

Indecent Exposure
In the earlier days, Gundam used to shove breasts in your face all the time. Not strategically covered breasts, but the real fucking deal. Glorious breasts with nipples. Tiny nipples, but nipples nonetheless. Also, uncensored genitals. Those were the days.

Attraction to Young Girls
Char Aznable, the most badass guy in the history of anime, was a lolicon. Judau Ashta and Glemy Toto also associated themselves with girls of inappropriate ages.

Surprise Sex
For a show about people fighting each other in giant robots, Gundam used to have an astonishingly high number of on-screen rape scenes. They might be subtle, but they are there. Already back in the original series, Amuro Ray ravished Kikka, one of the orphan children aboard the White Base. This explains the awkward silence when Frau Bow brought the kids to Amuro’s mansion in Zeta Gundam. I can imagine it is not the easiest thing to forget or forgive the man who jizzed all over you as a child, war hero or not.

Speaking of the orphan children, I’ve come to the conclusion that the orphans are all kinds of messed up. Katz molested Kikka, Letz had the hots for Frau Bow, Shinta violated Qum. The portrayal of the orphan children is clearly intended to serve as social commentary on the fragile state of children during wartime.

In ZZ Gundam, Judau Ashta tied up and had his way with Elpeo Puru (whose name is a pun on Lemon People). It doesn’t really count as rape, though, because the bitch was begging for it.

Cute, talented and funny – Alison Brie is nothing short of perfection. If Sarah Michelle Gellar and Amy Acker had a baby, it would look like Alison Brie. I should know, because the idea of Sarah Michelle Gellar and Amy Acker making babies has been a recurring theme in my dreams for quite some time now.

I have a feeling that, any minute now, wah will storm in and remark on how white women of dubious age who are made out of real flesh and bone are repulsive. If you are inclined to agree with him, I would like you to keep something in mind. wah finds Kaede Fuyou from Shuffle! compelling; he is a smart guy, but sometimes he is just wrong.

In any case, Alison Brie plays Trudy Campbell in Mad Men and Annie in NBCs new sitcom Community. She has also done a few web series.

• Community (Hulu)
• Hot Sluts (Web Series)
• Mad Men (AMC)
• My Alibi (Web Series)

Not sold? In college, Brie was famous for her naked animal impressions. Furthermore, she has a crush on Zooey Deschanel. Now, excuse me while I lose myself in Brie’s beautiful eyes.

Stage Name: Beckii Cruel
Age: 14
Profession: YouTube Dancer
Trap Status: Pending
Chris Hansen Factor: 100%

Meet Beckii, a British fourteen-year-old girl who, like all girls her age (trust me, I have stalked enough to know), likes to perform silly dances in her bedroom. Unlike most girls, Beckii also records and uploads her performances to YouTube. Not surprisingly, half of the male population of Japan is now fapping furiously to her videos. She even has an upcoming DVD, which, I guess, by definition makes her a Junior idol.

Junior idols are by no means a new phenomenon. Apparently, Japanese parents have no issues whatsoever with letting their underage daughters wear swimsuits while posing seductively and licking ice cream cones in front of middle-aged cameramen. In a way, they are no different from western parents who force their children to participate in beauty pageants – except for the fact that contestants of beauty pageants won’t see their faces on DVDs on the same shelves as softcore porn.

Just to be clear, while words such as アイドル [aidoru] and タレント [tarento] might resemble and be derived from the English words ‘idol’ and ‘talent’, the words have – like all things the Japanese touch – long since lost their meaning. Anyone, beautiful or not, can become an アイドル [aidoru] or タレント [tarento] as long as they are willing to whore themselves out on television and other media. The closest translation to アイドル [aidoru] and タレント [tarento] that I can think of would be ‘talentless hack’ or ‘Seth MacFarlane’.

You might be thinking: so what if these talentless hacks are poor excuses for human beings? At the end of the day, they are laughing all the way to the bank. Good for them, you say. True enough, true enough. Then again, the same could be said about prostitutes and Zach Braff.

I must admit that Beckii, a Junior idol of the more innocent variety, is painfully adorable. All the same, the fact that grown men are ogling her YouTube channel is still creepy as fuck.

Needless to say, I’ve already grabbed all Beckii’s videos from YouTube and preordered her DVD.

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